let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize