There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
