ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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