I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
