Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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