I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so explain again why im purple
no
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
