I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
