This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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