birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
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