first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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