Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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