She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
