Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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