It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
