HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i don't like sucking hair
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
