He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
