Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
