so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
