i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This is classic penis vs brain.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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