Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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