I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize