Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
