Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
