Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
