the condom got lost in my hair
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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