Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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