I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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