she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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