Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize