Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize