apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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