Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
