don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
