Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
