I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it's like heaven, but drunker
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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