Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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