Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
