so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
