their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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