I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We left the knife in your bed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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