Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
