i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
