Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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