i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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