We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
