Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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