Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
