Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
