It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
