Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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