I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
