OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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