Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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