I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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