You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
