420 ftw
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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