This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
