pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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