Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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