drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just forgot I was standing up.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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